Thursday, 16 October 2014
Whoa intense post. Well more of a rant really, I do apologise.
So I've suffered with anxiety since I was about twelve and it means that sometimes things that seem really mundane are actually really terrifying for me. For example: When I'm out for the night at a busy pub or something like that I am too freaked out to go to the toilets on my own because I worry that I'll loose the group of people I'm with in the crowds. Yes it's childish but it's a genuine fear that I have like someone who is afraid of spiders. Yet when someone far older and 'maturer' then me says they're afraid of spiders so could you take your spider out of the room it's met with understanding. If people find out that I'm freaked out by going places on my own they tell me I need to be more independent. It isn't about lack of independence.
When people hear the term anxiety they tend to think of panic attacks, which are a part of it but it's actually only a very small part of it for some people. There are a million other aspects like my earlier example, or just feeling horrifically anxious for no reason, or feeling like locking yourself in a room because you're worried the world will crush you.
There is a difference between anxiety and feeling nervous.
I hear all the time that if I just stopped being so nervous about things then it would all get better but that's like telling someone who's crying to just stop it and be happy. Being nervous isn't the same as having anxiety and when people say they know how I feel because they're a really nervous person I just want to scream because that isn't how it works. I know that people are trying to be understanding and grasp the concept but there is a big difference between being a bit nervous and struggling with anxiety.
I have been told off more times then I can count because sometimes I feel more anxious then normal and people tell me I'm not trying hard enough. Which is silly. Of course I'm trying I haven't just given up that would be ridiculous.
My point is if you're reading this please try and understand that people with anxiety sometimes get bad moments or days or longer periods of time for absolutely no reason at all, even if they're trying so please be understanding. Also if you suffer from anxiety or any other mental condition remember that you aren't alone and no matter what anyone tells you you're incredibly strong and can get through it.
Sorry rant over I promise tomorrow will be a cheerier post...pinky swear! :)