Friday, 24 October 2014

My Amazing Dad

I honestly never believed I would talk about this in here but for some reason I feel the need to talk about it and this seems like the best place.

On the 8th of July this year my dad passed away due to a bleed in his brain. He was taken to hospital 3 days before when I came home and found him after work but it was too late and there was nothing anyone could do, so after being in a coma for 3 days with no hope of helping him we had to let him go. My mum, my sister and I were with him until the very end.

My Dad was an unforgettable character, he taught me to be whoever I wanted no matter who said it was impossible or told me to grow up. He was my inspiration and I will never stop being grateful for all the love and affection he gave me. I try to be strong like he was and go on living like he would have wanted but it still hurts everyday that he isn't with me.

What you are about to read is a poem I wrote a few days after he died to try and express some of my feelings. 

Dear Beardy Man,
You were the knight in shining armour,
Who didn't need to check under the bed because monsters flee from the sound of your voice.
You were the hand, outstretched,
guiding me through any fear or darkness,
You were the warmth of a hug that brightened my tear stained cheeks,
as I listened to the sound of your voice you were everything. I need you.
Dear Beardy Man,
You were hope, hope at the end of the day
after tears had drained my dreams away you were strength and fire and light.
You were the song that played on repeat,
in my head your voice, your words clung to me. I miss you.
Dear Beardy Man,
If I could turn back time,
I would relive the day you taught me I could be whoever I wanted to be
the night we stayed up eating chocolate because I was too scared to sleep.
If I could turn back time I would go back to the day I was mad at you,
because you didn’t pick me up from work and I got home late.
Too late.
Too late to save you. I’m sorry.
Dear Beardy Man,
I don’t hear that beat, that song anymore.
All I hear is monsters crawling under my bed
now they know the fire is gone.
My fear is blinding with no hand outstretched and I feel no hope for the end of the day.
Dear Beardy Man I need you.
Dear Beardy Man I miss you.
Dear Beardy Man I’m sorry.
Dear Beardy Man I love you.

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